Does the pain of losing a "fetus" ever ease?

On April 10th I went to the emergency room with severe bleeding. I was 9 weeks pregnant. After two sonograms I was told by the doctor that my baby was ectopic and they believed that it was in my falopian tube. I woke up 4 hours later from surgery (which was only supposed to take 45 minutes) and the back of my right hand where the needle was, was covered in blood. It turned out that the baby wasn't in my tubes after all, it was actually on one of my ovaries. When they lifted my ovary I began to bleed heavily and they had to give me a blood transfusion. Since the baby was on my ovary they had to do a bikini cut to remove it. Everyday I either unintentionally look at or feel that scar and it is like a knife to the heart. Every Saturday (when the week I was pregnant would change), I always think, I would be 17 weeks along now, or I would be 19 weeks now. And it kills me to see babies. It doesn't matter if I see them in real life, or even on TV, it hurts so bad. What makes it worse is that I have a 3 year old who has a genetic disease, he is now a normal little boy, but he had to go through chemotherapy and a blood transplant at Duke University in NC (I live in MI) and for a week we almost lost him. What they did wasn't a cure, but a treatment, so the damage that has been done to his bones and his hearing loss will never go away. Don't get me wrong, I love my son, and I am so greatful that I didn't lose him, but I think that one of my children God gave a horrible disease to, and the other one he took away from me. It hurts so bad, I know that it has only been less than three months, but will the pain of the loss ever ease? I want to get pregnant again, but I'm scared. I don't want to go through that again, and the doctor said that since I have had one ectopic pregnancy I am more likely to have another one. I just don't want it to feel like a knife in the heart every time i think about it.