A question for ladies?

can you ladies really be happy with a guy who don't satisfy you sexually. me and my wife been together for a really long time but things always happening that makes me think shes cheating from dirty underwear guys calling and hanging up i even got a couple voice mails from her cell and i hear sexually noises in them 1 when she was at work and one in our house with are baby in the background crying. and she still denies all this. im a small guy and know shes not satisfied with me but i try all kinds of things to try and satisfy her, months after are last child was born her hole got really big and things didn't feel the same to me i would get off work in the morning and find magnum condoms outside are house, i cried so much from all this she lies so much about a lot of things but say she wouldn't lie about cheating on me we are really close to just breaking up and i dont wont to lose my family i even offered to find someone to come into are house to satisfy her so things could stop going on behind my back she say she don't wont it only me but i see different in her eyes. we got toys i try to make it good for her but she always stop me i think in fear of hearing her the way she was in the voice mails. we been fighting over this stuff for months i ask her to admit to me so i can move on from her cheating on me and we can work threw it but she cant and wont give me a chance to forgive her i know if i leave i will be alone for the rest of my life my cause i dont think any women wont's a guy with a small penis im tired of living like this wish i was never born thinking about suicide i cant take no more why wont she just leave me instead of hurting me this way i don't know what else to do stay and keep getting hurt like this or leave and be lonely for the rest of my life or just end my life i need help really bad. it hurts not being able to please a women